SERVICES
NEW PARENT COUNSELLING IN MELBOURNE
Becoming parents can shift a relationship in ways that people don’t always expect.
In some ways, it can bring you closer. There is a shared sense of purpose, a new kind of love, and the experience of building something together. But at the same time, it can also create distance.And sometimes, early parenthood is just hard.
You’re learning how to care for a baby while running on broken sleep, adjusting to a completely different routine and trying to work out who you are in this new version of your life. Your relationship is changing, the way you spend your time, how you connect, the roles you play and what you need from each other looks different now. and sometimes, you’re both adjusting to those changes while just trying to get through the day.One of you is touched out by the end of the day after a full day of holding, feeding and being needed by someone all day. The other has been away all day and may come home wanting to reconnect and be intimate, but feels rejected when it doesn't happen. One of you may be carrying the mental load of appointments, feeds, routines, washing, planning, remembering everything. The other may want to help but may not always know what needs to be done. By the time they ask, frustration has already built. One of you feels isolated at home, missing adult conversation and a sense of identity beyond being a parent. The other may be under pressure at work, holding it together out there and arrives home already exhausted.Neither of you is necessarily doing anything wrong and you’re probably both exhausted, overwhelmed and trying your best but experiencing this life in completely different ways. Then something small happens. The dishes. A comment. A look. A conversation about who is doing more. Suddenly, it turns into an argument that feels much bigger than the thing you were actually talking about. Over time, these moments add up and even when you both still care deeply about each other, it can start to feel like you're no longer on the same team but just two people trying to get through the day.And while it can be easy to put your relationship last when so much else needs your attention, your relationship with your partner matters. Not just to you, but to your children too.
What your children witness between you and what they feel in that environment shapes how they understand relationships, conflict, connection and how they learn to treat the people they love. The environment your child grows up in is not just shaped by how you parent, but also by the relationship they see between you.
And that’s something worth getting right.
APPROACH
My background includes a Graduate Diploma in Psychology and Levels 1 and 2 training in the Gottman Method.
This means we don't just focus on what's happening on the surface, like the arguments, distance or exhaustion. But we take the time to understand what each of you is actually carrying in this season of life and how that's showing up between you. Often, the way you react to each other makes more sense when you understand what's happening underneath.
The Gottman Method is based on decades of research into what helps relationships stay strong. In this stage of life, that
often means learning how to have difficult conversations without feeling like you are attacking, defending or shutting down.
We also look at the patterns that keep showing up between you, so you can understand what is really happening underneath and find a different way through it.
At its core, this work is about helping you feel like you're on the same team again.
WHAT WE WORK ON
In our work together, we might focus on things like:
Adjusting to becoming parents and finding your feet in early parenthoodNavigating the change in roles and expectationsSharing the mental load without everything becoming a tallyCommunicating when you’re exhausted or under pressureUnderstanding the patterns that get you stuck during conflict
Working through resentment, hurt or feeling disconnectedNavigating different parenting styles, values and expectationsStaying connected through the demands of early parenthoodRebuilding closeness, intimacy and connectionCreating a shared way forward as a family
FAQs
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Yes. This is incredibly common, even in strong relationships. The transition into parenthood places pressure on both individuals and the relationship, and many couples notice a shift during this time.
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Yes. The work we do is practical and designed to fit into real life. It is not about adding more pressure, but about helping things feel more manageable and connected.
If counselling feels like too much to organise right now, the In-Between service may be a gentler place to start. It’s four weeks of personalised email support that gives you space to reflect, at a pace that fits around your week.
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Ideally, yes. Couples counselling works best when both partners are in the room, since it's about understanding the relationship between you, not just one person's experience of it.
If your partner isn't able to attend regularly, or isn't ready to come at all, it's worth having a conversation about what might make that feel more possible for them.
In the meantime, if you still want some support, the In-Between service may be a helpful first step. It’s four weeks of personalised email support designed to help you make sense of what has changed in your relationship while couples counselling doesn’t feel possible yet.
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Not at all. The earlier you come, the more there is to work with. Many couples wait until things feel unmanageable, but getting support during the transition (rather than after patterns have taken hold) tends to produce much better outcomes.
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Gottman's research found that relationship satisfaction drops significantly for the majority of couples in the first few years after having a baby and that this happens regardless of how strong the relationship was before. It is one of the most well-studied transitions in relationship research. What the research also shows is that the couples who fare best are those who maintain their friendship and emotional connection through the transition, rather than letting the relationship quietly take a back seat.
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Yes and this is one of the most important findings from the research. The environment a child grows up in is shaped not just by how they are parented individually, but by the relationship they witness between their parents. Children raised in homes where the parental relationship is warm, connected, and low in unresolved conflict tend to fare significantly better emotionally and socially. Working on your relationship is not separate from being a good parent - it is part of it.
If early parenthood has changed things between you and your partner...
You're not alone and you don't have to jump straight into counselling to start making sense of it.
The In-Between service gives you somewhere to reflect, feel heard and receive personalised support over four weeks, at a pace that fits around your week.